RealDealPolitics.com

Even though our entire country and economy are going down the drain, sports always survive and are unaffected by economic turmoil. Somehow or another, people will always pay for sports. We should therefore strive to make American sports the best they can be. Thus:

The American Sports Improvement Act

This amendment to the constitution shall require several changes to make sports more satisfying and rewarding to the American people, and shall enforce the following tenets:

1. No sports game of any kind, including football, baseball, and horse racing, shall be conducted on artificial surface, including but not limited to Astroturf, Polytrack, Pro-ride, Tapeta, etc. All artificial surfaces in use shall be converted to dirt or grass within one year of enactment.

2. NCAA Division 1 College Football shall implement a playoff system of at least 8 teams in order to determine the national football champion. Bowls may be used to conduct the playoff. Recommendations from sports experts not currently on the payroll of the good-ole-boy network shall be considered for a merit based playoff system.

3. The Monday directly following the NFL Super Bowl championship shall be declared a national holiday. Every working person shall have the day off from their employer in order to recover from the previous day’s festivities and riots. Unemployed persons may take a day off from their job search. Wall Street, if still in business, shall be closed that day.